2. Two first steps

My first step after realizing my writing potential, was to ignore it. I don't know if this can count as an excuse, but I was 7. Usually we know writing is special to us pretty soon, around the same time we learn how to start, develop and finish a story on paper. I was lucky enough to have my family encouraging me to express with written words since I was 5 and I started to read all sort of books on my dad's shelves soon after, tough I was never confident enough to believe that was special, and still fight my doubts everyday.

So around 7 I loved poems and wrote short stories for school. Soon after, somebody offered me a diary at Christmas and I wrote everyday. I filled several diaries for many years until I was 20 and my first true love of 3 years, ended. Yes, I'm talking about the love between a boy and a girl, tough I see it now: my first true love was writing.

Anyway, my confidence was put down and I stopped believing in fairy tales altogether. No one really lives of their writing, right? I should grow up and focus on my future!

Well, I was partly right - no one should start writing for money - but if I'd pay attention, I would know that writing kept me balanced and you just really grow up at 30, so may as well try some craziness in your 20's and find some self forgiveness after.

I was never completely off writing, but I did it so randomly that nothing I wrote was ever finished or good enough. I've been fighting my own self all these years. I've been keeping myself from what makes me human; hiding my emotions, fighting my guts off and living the professional dream society stands me proud of.

Am I crazy for giving that all up? Yes, I probably am. At the time, I'm cleaning society out of me. Do you ever get the feeling that you don't live in society, but society lives inside you? That's how I feel. I'm washing it all up. I'm on a brake from rules and what's wise. I'm actually writing my first novel and wondering what my second job's gonna be. And it's not gonna be about money: I already lived that dream: it was nice and empty.

This time around, it's about me. They say you only start living at 30, hope they're right.
So my first step after realizing my writing potential - at 30! - was to run to the nearest library and find what the hell can I do with it. I brought 7 manuals about Creative Writing, Creative Editing, Grammar and Syntax, ...

As I read "the only way to learn how to write is to sit down and do it" (Mary Mackie), guess my second step? Whether I'm scared or full with confidence, I always sit down, open my laptop and add words to my novel. It's not always magical, but one of the things I've learned so far is that magic is nothing but a group of tricks you master with practice.

Note to self: Humanise - a blog about Creative Writing